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Fresh Start.

After graduating High School I have felt lost. Maybe because it’s a realization to me that I am no longer a “child” so to speak. I should be a full grown adult ready to accept the responsibilities placed upon me. Off to college and get a real job. Yet, at heart I’m still very much a child among men. No real idea what I want to do or what I want to become. With that I have begun thinking about what I really enjoy. Whether that be activities, hobbies, or anything. I came to the conclusion I love music. I can say that and actually mean that more than all people say they “Love” music.

All my life I’ve been sucked into the music world thanks to my brother. I can still remember him driving me to school at 7 A.M. in his Trans Am playing ‘Taking Back Sunday’. Not knowing the song or even the band for that matter. I tried singing in my Middle School Choir, and well you can determine how well that turned out. Puberty-esk child trying to learn to sing. Being made fun of for being a tenor because my voice had yet to drop. But it was a stepping stone to what I wanted to really do.

My brother had a left handed electric guitar laying in his closet due to him trying to learn and join a group of his friend’s band. He hadn’t been playing long and I guess gave it up or lost interest. I always saw it and wondered if I could ever play something like that. I loved watching music videos where guitarists rocked out and shredded. Playing crazy riffs and solos I gazed it awe. So I ‘borrowed’ his guitar. Attempting to play it without knowing how to tune or even know how to read tabs. A right handed person with a left handed guitar. I strummed along with my favorite songs (which being back then would be Green Day or Jimmy Eat World).

I told my father that I would learn to play left handed. But he insisted on me getting a right handed guitar. I actually didn’t like that for some reason. But I’m grateful he did being that without purchasing the new guitar he wouldn’t have signed me up for guitar lessons.

I was extremely nervous about the whole ordeal. Never really liked being taught things due to short tempers about not being able to do something (typical me). Luckily I had an amazing teacher by the name of James. He taught me my basic chords, how to read tabs, and even tried to teach me the actual reading notes (the dots and line).

Fast forward 5 years. I know have been playing for a long while. Learned pretty much all there was to learn from lessons. I had been teaching myself songs online with tabs and came to the conclusion that I no longer needed lessons. I could now be self taught. So I can safely say guitar is very important in my life. Been doing it for a good 9 years.

I also began to think about the other things I enjoy doing in my life. As a child (11-16 or so) I was always making short films with friends that lived on my block. I was so interested with the entire shooting and editing process. We make small action/horror movies. Involving guns, cussing and terrible acting. We found it to be so much fun. Write out a script, pick roles, and go out a shoot one every week or so. Only a few actually made it off the editing software. Due to terrible plots and editing. But the idea was there. I had a good 120gb worth of videos. We even made a Jackass rip-off called ‘American Idiots’.

So enter the present. I’m almost 18 and want to pursue both. So that is where YouTube comes in. I want to make a living off of it like some of the more popular Youtubers. I know that VERY unlikely. I’ve always loved the YouTube community and what it represents. I get to share what I am good at with the nether of space and resources called the internet. Where others can view my content and like, hate, comment, and explain their ideas on what they just saw. That amazes me beyond words. Been using my account for a month and have almost reached a grand total of 100 subscribers. I can’t explain how much I appreciate every sub, view and comment. Good or bad its feedback which I wouldn’t have if it wasn’t for YouTube.

Who knows what could happen if I continue making content for you amazing people. I could be a partner and could make a steady income doing something I truly enjoy. Thanks to all of you special people.

Until next time.

…_d

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5 thoughts on “Fresh Start.”

  1. I feel very much like this, the not knowing what you want to do in life part. It’s good that you have a natural talent for music, stick with it. I’ve never really been good at music, but I still love it.

    Are you going to college?

    I hope this isn’t creepy. I know I follow you on a lot of sites. But I feel like I can kind of relate to you because of the similar music interests, I have yet to meet anyone in real life who also likes Silversun Pickups. It’s really sad actually….I’m not weird though. I’m just a 19 year old girl trying to figure out what to do with my life too. Seriously though. Not a weirdo.

    1. Yes I am going to a community college here in Texas. I’m definitely going to try to pursue music as a major, but I can’t find a decent school for it.

      It’s not creepy at all! I’m just amazed that there are people out there like yourself who share similar interests.

      I’m also grateful you took the time to read this long blog I wrote at 5 A.M. haha!

      You are not a weirdo. =D

  2. For reals? I live Texas too. But I go to college in Arkansas.

    Don’t some muscians make it through YouTube? Maybe if you write some original songs and sing them and then post them on YouTube people will notice…

    This blog post reminds me of stuff I’ve written in journals. Just getting the thoughts that swirl around in my head about what I’m doing with my life and future down in written form helps clear my mind.
    😀

    1. Oh nice! Yeah there are a handful of people who made it through YouTube. It’s all luck really. So many people on the internet. Just have to keep trying and hope you catch a break.

      But I’m making my way out there. One month and I have received a good amount of views and subs. Which I’m really grateful for. Just have to keep doing it.

      I’m the same exact way!! I have so many comp books full of thoughts and anything on my mind. It really helps me focus on what I need to do. I love going back and reading some of my really old stuff. I might post some of them on here for fun.

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